Mirror, mirror: relationship insights

Published in MapleLine Magazine: Feb.3, 2010

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by Cedona Holly

Our beliefs and understandings about life can create inner peace or inner turmoil. They can keep us stuck or they can help us be free.

Traditional therapy teaches that if you have a problem within relationships, you had better go back to your childhood and take a close look at your relationships with your mother and father. By bringing awareness to early childhood patterning we can notice how we have unconsciously repeated those very same patterns, or have gone to the opposite: “Oh no….I’ll NEVER do what THEY did!”

Insights about early childhood patterning can be very useful indeed, especially if we go to the emotional levels to feel them fully and release them. There are inner children inside us who are frozen in time, locked into their patterning. There are many ways to liberate these ‘frozen children’.

Seeing life from a spiritual perspective brings even deeper insights. Personally I see life as “Earth School”. Our soul comes to earth to have experiences, to learn about human life, to make progress as a soul and to finally exit off the ‘wheel of karma’. At that point we are enlightened.

Relationships are a great vehicle to help us heal our restrictive patterning. We have inner radar which chooses just the right person to help us with this. Our
partner is there to mirror our own unconscious mind, so we can see it, own it and clear it. The end result is inner freedom and more harmonious relationships.
Whatever behaviour is showing up in our partner is inside us too because each of us contains all qualities within us, even if hidden at very subtle levels in the subconscious mind. When our partner is being harsh with us let’s say, we may see this as a call to heal our own inner harshness, as they may be seen as our mirror! Whatever qualities appear to be outside of us, separate from us, we contain within, if we look diligently with great humility.

Ultimately, if we wish to alleviate our suffering we must do some healing work to clear these ‘shadow’ parts from our makeup so they do not get played out in relationship after relationship, lifetime after lifetime.

We can transition from the “You did this to me” model to “Thank you for showing me my unhealed aspect”! What a different model this is! Releasing the blame game and loving, forgiving and clearing whatever shows up for us within the other, can set everyone free! MM

Cedona Holly is available for consultations in Sooke. www.eternaloneness.org

MapleLine Business Centre - Sell your book on consignment. At 6707 West Coast Road (across from Peoples Drug Mart), Sooke, BC. Phone: 250-642-7729 or toll-free 1-877-595-6925. info@maplelinebusinesscentre.com

This article was published on page 26 in the print edition of MapleLine Magazine (Winter-Spring 2010 issue / Feb-Apr.2010).